02 March 2009

Ideology and Religion Shit List

[direct copied from the link above]


Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List

* Taoism: Shit happens.

* Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit happens.”

* Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.

* Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
* Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?

* Hinduism: This shit has happened before.

* Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
* Islam #2: If shit happens, blame Israel.

* Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.

* Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.

* Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.

* Episcopalian: It’s not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

* Methodist: It’s not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

* Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.

* Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.

* Lutheran: If shit happens, don’t talk about it.

* Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
* Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it’s okay.
* Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.

* Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?

* Calvinism: Shit happens because you don’t work.

* Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.

* Creationism: God made all shit. (or, it takes an intelligent design to make shit)

* Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.

* Christian Science: When shit happens, don’t call a doctor - pray!
* Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.

* Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.

* Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.

* Utopianism: This shit does not stink.

* Darwinism: This shit was once food.

* Capitalism: That’s MY shit.

* Communism: It’s everybody’s shit.

* Feminism: Men are shit.

* Machismo: We may be shit, but you can’t live without us…

* Commercialism: Let’s package this shit.

* Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.

* Idolism: Let’s bronze this shit.

* Existentialism: Shit doesn’t happen; shit IS.
* Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?

* Stoicism: This shit is good for me.

* Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!

* Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
* Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.

* Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.

* Scientology: If shit happens, see “Dianetics”, p.157.

* Jehovah’s Witnesses: >KnockKnock< Shit happens.
* Jehovah’s Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
* Jehovah’s Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.

* Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.

* Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.

* Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit!

* Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.

* Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.

* Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.

* Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
* Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
* Agnostic #3: What is this shit?

* Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.

* Atheism: What shit?
* Atheism #2: I can’t believe this shit!

* Nihilism: No shit.

* And of course we must add…Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!

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