30 November 2011

re: Apologies and Forgiveness

Please read the original post before reading my comment below.

OK, you have read the post, go ahead continue reading...

My position of moral is that one should avoid making mistakes. When mistakes are made, one has to live with the consequences of the mistake. The right to forgive and move on is not with the wrong-doer even in face of a sincere apology. Whether the victim agrees to forgive is completely moral independent. That's the point I beg to differ with Alonzo Fyfe:
I believe all of the elements of a sincere apology have been met. From this, the only legitimate option is to accept that apology. Refusing to do so is unjust. Refusing to do so because one holds GelatoGuy personally responsible for a culture over which he has no control compounds the injustice.

PZ has the absolute right to refuse to accept an apology even if the apology was given sincerely. PZ was hurt and if PZ decided to live with the memory of such a hurt and refused to forgive, it is nothing immoral. Hurt was done - although the pain might have subsided.

Is culture to blame? May be and may be not. Culture is a co-creation by all the participants of the culture. The GelatoGuy may be gullible and may have fallen victim to the culture in which he was brought up. He could blame the culture AND then learnt to change the culture. But he did make a mistake and I commend him with the courage to apologize.

Forgiveness is the path for the victim to move on. The wrong-doer did the damage and has to face up with consequences - including consequences that some will not accept the apology.

While I encourage victims to forgive, but the assertion that not accepting a sincere apology is immoral is itself immoral.

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